What is soft swap and full swap in the swinger lifestyle?


Soft swap couples are those that like to engage in foreplay and other sexual acts and reserve sex exclusively for their partner. Full swap is the exchange of everything that is included in soft swap and the engaging in full sexual penetration with another couple, single male or female.

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Soft Swap vs Full Swap

To better understand the difference between soft swap and full swap, we need to explore the meaning of both terms. A soft swap couple is one who engages in everything except sexual penetration with other couples. There is a common misconception that soft swap simply means same room sex; however, soft swap couples can engage in a variety of activities while keeping the sex with just each other. For example, playful activities may include kissing, touching, oral sex, playing with toys, anything except penetration below the waist. On the other end for full swap couples- anything goes (within certain limitations)! Basically, once sex comes into play with anyone other than your partner, it’s considered a full swap. Full swapping usually begins the same way as a soft swap but escalates to a sensual sexual experience that both partners can enjoy. Both soft and full swap experiences can be enjoyed with either another couple or a single male or female, also referred to as a “unicorn” in the swinger lifestyle.

Are you soft or full swap?

This is most commonly the first question for couples or individuals joining the lifestyle.It is important to discuss the difference with your partner and decide together which option will work best for you, and what you are most comfortable with. Many couples start their journey in the swinger lifestyle as a soft swap couple to give themselves time to get comfortable. As with any new activity or interest it is best take it slow and learn with experience. On the other hand, there are some couples who dive in headfirst and decide to full swap from the get-go. There is no right or wrong choice, so don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Become comfortable and understand your specific needs and desires, the rest will become easier as you gain experience.

Are there rules for soft or full swap couples?

Once you decide which choice you are going to go with, you should develop a set of “rules” in order to create personal boundaries for you and your partner. One of the most important rules for many couples is the use of condoms! Some couples build strong friendships in the lifestyle and are comfortable going “bareback” with certain couples. If you feel strongly enough not to require condoms with certain couples, it’s a decision you need to make together. Another rule to decide on is whether you prefer to play in the same room or separately. It is okay to make that decision in the moment as you may feel more comfortable with certain couples. Another example of a rule that couples set in place is no “back door” play, many people are not comfortable with anal, and that is okay. Other rules that come into play can consist of establishing rules for communication with other couples, whether to include unicorns or to not, and agreeing to not to take one for the team. Knowing exactly what your limitations are will help to keep you and your partner in tune while engaging with other couples. Be honest with one another and maintain effective communication with each other to sustain a comfortable and wonderful sensual experience for both of you.

What are the benefits of Soft Swap?

Soft swapping is a great way to enter the swinger lifestyle. Couples can introduce themselves to playing with other couples and begin to accept their partner with another person. Many benefits come with choosing to be a soft swap couple. One significant benefit is the lowered risk of sexually transmitted diseases and sexual infections. Couples also eliminate the risk of an unwanted pregnancy from a stranger. As a soft swap couple, you greatly reduce the risk of jealousy in your relationship. Simply put, soft swap is not a bad decision, and no one should let anyone make them feel otherwise.

What are the benefits of Full Swap?

Full swap is a benefit for those couples that are very confident in their relationship and are very sex positive. It can be a tough decision for couples to be full swap as jealousy and other risk factors come with this choice. However, practicing safe sex and establishing a set of boundaries can make full swapping a very sensual experience—the greatest benefit to full swap is obviously sex! For many couples the sheer thought of watching their partner experience pleasure is desirable, and as a full swap couple, you open an entirely new world of swinging.

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To wrap it up:

Deciding between soft swap or full swap is only the beginning of your journey in the lifestyle. Discovering all that the lifestyle has to offer is exciting and stimulating. The experiences of the swinger lifestyle can be an invigorating experience together as a couple. Whether you decide to be a soft swap or full swap swinger couple is completely up to you. Do not ever let the pressure from other couples influence your decision. There are benefits to both forms of the lifestyle, and you and your partner determine your happiness. It is essential for couples to be open and honest with each other and to develop a set of boundaries together. Keeping jealousy out of the mixture may be an obstacle at first, however, remaining truthful about your feelings will help to work through it. When engaging in swapping with other couples, ask about their “rules” or boundaries in order to open the conversation of your comforts. Remember that expectations may not meet reality when engaging in both soft and full swap situations, and that is okay, every experience is unique and one that can be learned from. Be sure you and your partner do not feel pressured to do things you do not feel comfortable with. Communication and talking with your partner are the keys to maintaining a healthy relationship in the lifestyle. 

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